Having trouble deciding to HE or not?

[AmbyUK]

This could get long and rambly but bear with me. I have no idea what's best to do and I need to decide asap because registration is next week!

Home schooling is much more common in the States and over there we always planned to HS the kids. (My hubby is American and I lived there for 7 years) We moved here and I really wanted to send them to school, mainly because I felt DH had not given me any choice over HS, it was just a given that I would do it which I didn't really want to do.

However now Cora is in Primary 1 and Calvin is in nursery, and in some ways I think it would be really good to home school them. Cora always comes home and says no-one will play with her (although I don't think this is actually true, she reads too much into it when people leave her alone for short periods of time, and gets upset). Calvin is quite a loner, he will happily play with friends at home but at school, even after being at the same nursery for 18 months he was not really playing with other boys and girls. There was a long period of time where he hated going to nursery, and screamed the house down.

So far as I can see it, there would be good benefits. The kids both say they would prefer to stay home and do school with me. We could go on holidays anytime, which I think are important to provide (if you can) and can be great learning opportunities. We would have more freedom to go for days out, there's some fantastic places around here I'd love to take them to learn things and weekends are just not an option for us for many reasons.

However, on the con side, I wonder things like, how will I ever socialise myself? All the things like Mum and toddler groups, I couldn't take the older 2 to. I do really enjoy time with just Maia (8mos) every day, and I feel I enjoy my kids more after I've had a bit of a break from them. I wouldn't get that at all if they were home schooled.

I also think there would be great benefits to home educating in that I've always tried to 'keep my children young' if you know what I mean? I don't want my 5 year old being into High School Musical, I want her playing with My Little Ponies and princess dolls. When they're in school they seem to just copy the crowd, being into things she's never seen (we don't own a TV). I don't particularly want her learning to swear and have boyfriends and wearing clothes that are too old for her, and most of the older primary school children seem to do this these days.

I'm just in two minds about this... do I or don't I? If I did home school I would have to be an organised person I think, regularly scheduled learning in addition to all the fun learning you can do outwith the school setting. I can do that and it might even help me get things done around here if I was more organised.

I know no-one can tell me the answer, but if anyone has any thoughts either pros or cons that might help me make up my mind, I would appreciate it.

I have ordered Dumbing Us Down from Amazon, looking forward to reading it.

[llondel]

Find your local home ed group, introduce yourself and go along to some of their events. If you get on well with them, and your children enjoy the environment then they can offer you some good local advice.

Home education is a lot of work but it has a lot of rewards too. However, time to yourself is not normally one of the rewards if you're the stay-at-home parent...

[AmbyUK]

They won't allow you to join the local group unless you are actually already HE.

I suppose I feel as if there would be a lot of pressure on me, whether real or imaginary.

[Mickey]

They won't allow you to join the local group unless you are actually already HE.

What?? That's awful. It's not an EO group, is it? Is there another group you could attend, even if it means travelling? I must say, meeting other HErs was what swung it for me because they were so open, honest and friendly. Don't let this one group put you off.

[weedaftie]

Originally Posted by AmbyUK

They won't allow you to join the local group unless you are actually already HE.

I suppose I feel as if there would be a lot of pressure on me, whether real or imaginary.

There are a number of home educators in Aberdeenshire who organise activities - haven't heard any of them say that you must already be a home educator in order to meet up with them. Are you on Noshed? The events and activities in your area are posted there.

[Ali P]

Originally Posted by AmbyUK

They won't allow you to join the local group unless you are actually already HE.

What a pity local home educators should be so unwelcoming. Ironically, I think the founding members of this particular group were introduced at a (completely open) Schoolhouse event.

You will find other Aberdeenshire home educators on our private Scottish forum, so you should get a bit more encouragement from them.

[AmbyUK]

Well now that I've made the decision to HE I have been allowed to join the group (yes it is noshed). There appear to be a few groups - all quite far from me really, but I haven't heard back from any of the others yet.

[LucyB]

Sorry to hear noshed being discussed like this - I have always found them very welcoming. We can't have a complete free for all in a group that is mainly for home educators to organise meetings - I am one of the mods on the group and always open to have people email after applying to join to discuss their situation as happened with Amber. Feel free to contact me - I will be raising this issue and thread with the other mods.

[AmbyUK]

Obviously discussing noshed was not the intent of this thread Lucy.. I do think it would be good if potential HE could join, because it's difficult to get answers to area specific questions any other way.

[weedaftie]

Hi Lucy

Thanks for popping up!

I remember when Mary was the mod and there was a discussion about membership a few years ago. I contributed to that at the time as it was about the fact that actual dates and venues of activities and events are being discussed and how that could affect child protection.

I understood it was decided that newbies who confirmed they were seriously considering home ed or had started the withdrawal procedure were allowed to join after some initial contact with one of the mods.
So, when I used to do enquiries if I had one in the areas covered by NOSHEd, I would usually wait until the parent had actually started the procedure before suggesting that they contact Noshed and confirm they were considering home ed or had started the withdrawal procedure.

I appreciate that NOSHEd members are trying to protect their children and given the amount of detail regarding activities on the list are right to be cautious. However it is impossible to guarantee that existing or potential home educators joining NOSHEd are not child abusers.
How to strike the balance of being supportive of families considering HE in NOSHEd areas with child protection is not easy.

Originally Posted by LucyB

Sorry to hear noshed being discussed like this - I have always found them very welcoming. We can't have a complete free for all in a group that is mainly for home educators to organise meetings - I am one of the mods on the group and always open to have people email after applying to join to discuss their situation as happened with Amber. Feel free to contact me - I will be raising this issue and thread with the other mods.