home schooling children with selective mutism

[ashley]

Hi guys!

Just wondering whether anyones had any experience with home schooling children with selective mutism? Theres not much research out there concerning this particular issue, although there are a few articles implying that it will hinder the childs socialisation skills. Others suggesting that its not impeded in anyway. What are your thoughts? Please share.

[Elaine Kirk]

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Oh it rattles my cage when I hear of these experts with their knowledge of home ed..... I think I will do a survey see if any home edders have partaken in any qualified intensive research into (insert condition) in home edded children because I have never met anyone who has.
But Ashley I do know without any shadow of a doubt that a parent is best placed to know under what circumstances their child is likely to thrive and grow into a confident self sufficient adult so you follow your instincts they are much more trustworthy than speculation dressed up as knowledge.

[Ali Admin]

Way back, maybe 14 years ago, I knew a family whose child refused to communicate in any way at school, escaped from the building at every opportunity and self harmed on a regular basis. This had been happening since he started school and he was 12 when I first met his family.

He was being physically carried into school by his parents, who had been threatened with prosecution if they failed to deliver him there, and he was eventually dumped in a unit for pregnant schoolgirls (yes, you read that right). Once home ed was found to be an option (by parental research) the boy was withdrawn from school despite strong opposition from the psychologist who declared HE to be 'damaging' of his future prospects, but with the support of his social worker (who admitted she had no resources to deal with such an unhappy child and feared for his wellbeing).

Fast forward a few years of home ed (but very little involvement with 'groups' as it was too much for him) and we find a happy, sociable, well adjusted youngster serving an apprenticeship as an electrician. Last I heard he was working quite happily in the family business with no communication issues when dealing with customers and the rest of the world!

Only anecdotal, I know, but I have never forgotten that child or the extent of his family's despair.

[france]

Hi Ashley,
I am no expert on selective mutism but what i do understand is that although anxiety does not cause it in most cases, it does keep it going.

I have just not long posted on the forum here for a advice after being told by a specialist speech and language therapist that school would be best for my son's social and emotional language to develop. Since then, i have had a long conversation with a close friend who just happens to be a speech and language therapist. She has never commented until now. The more we talked, the more i realised that we were on very different wave lengths and the more she talked about school and who makes what decision and how that decision is made, the more she convinced me that school is so detrimental to the development of my child, particularly his social communication. What astounded me was how much the professionals make these decisions and "pretend" to value the parent as most knowledgeable on their child. It was also very clear that her opinion was based on her personal view and assumption based on her having no knowledge of home education or having met anyone who has been or is home educated. School was all she knew.

I am more than convinced that the advice i have received from the forum is wise and informed. It was as i had just experienced. My child does not have a medical diagnosis of selective mutism. BUT at nursery he refused point blank to interact and that included speaking. When he is asked a question by someone he doesn't know he cannot answer or he will answer with a random word which makes no connection to the question asked. I feared his social communication would suffer in school and now i am convinced it would. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Caroline

[Kath M]

My own DD has autism and some quite profound speech and language issues. This has resulted in a some real problems in communication for her.

In her earlier years the professionals, who know so very much in theory but actually so very little in practice, told us in order to overcome her problems she required more socialisation than other children.
A kind of a learning by osmosis effect, she more she was forced to interact with others then the easier it would become.

However all this method did was drive her further into herself and she ended up interacting with no-one except for me for a couple of years. The rest of the world was shut out completely, she would neither speak nor interact with anyone else.
This occured after she was placed in school and forced to learn to socialise.

In her HE life we've been able to manage her socialisation to the bite sized bits she can cope with.
It's taken several years but she now can converse quite well and willingly with others.
I believe that because she wasn't forced to do something she couldn't cope with, because we set our own pace, she was able to work through her issues.

She has improved beyond all expectation. Those same professionals who questioned HE as the worst idea for an autistic child and who made me feel like the world's worst parent for pulling her out of school are now admitting the value of taking things slowly and building up confidence.

Go with your gut feeling, a child who will not communicate in a certain environment because of stress is hardly likely to improve by staying in that environment.

Home Ed. is not a perfect option but it is a great remover of stress in the lives of certain children.

[ashley]

Originally Posted by Elaine Kirk

.
Oh it rattles my cage when I hear of these experts with their knowledge of home ed..... I think I will do a survey see if any home edders have partaken in any qualified intensive research into (insert condition) in home edded children because I have never met anyone who has.
But Ashley I do know without any shadow of a doubt that a parent is best placed to know under what circumstances their child is likely to thrive and grow into a confident self sufficient adult so you follow your instincts they are much more trustworthy than speculation dressed up as knowledge.

I know what you mean. It is a very interesting area to explore and investigate further. But sometimes as a parent, you automatically look up to the professionals for advice, even though they may not be best placed to give it (yet they still do).
BTW let me know if you do a study. I would be very interested in whatever you discover.

[Gizzie]

I am told that my DD best friend had selective mutism at school, along with all sorts of official diagnoses. I believe her, because she's my friend, and it's the reason for home ed.

But I cannot reconcile the funny, bubbly, chatty, outgoing child that I know, with the selective mute that her mother describes.

That's how good home ed is.

[Diane]

Selective mutism is, in my view, a fairly anxious child's way of resisting the coercive system that is school.

Our society is built on concrete foundations of force. If we cared for children, we would treat them each as individuals and tailor their courses and schooling (not necessarily education) to them as individuals.

The system doesn't do that.

Some children react with violent behaviour and noisy protest. Others withdraw and resist by not participating.

Diane
http://www.threedegreesoffreedom.blogspot.com