Why you SHOULD let your children play with danger

[Ali P]

A book detailing ways to expose youngsters to danger as part of their development has become surprisingly popular among parents.

Why you SHOULD let your children play with danger (despite warnings from the health and safety brigade)

Fifty Dangerous Things (You Should Let Your Children Do) urges parents to help youngsters learn to judge risk and gain responsibility through experiments.

They include playing with fire, driving under adult supervision and licking a nine-volt battery.

'Let children practise climbing trees, and they will learn to do it safely. If you never let them climb a tree, they will eventually do it anyway, possibly in the most unsafe manner possible.'

Peter Cornall of the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents agreed some accidents could benefit children.

He said: 'Children are losing any sense of where real danger lies.'

[Elaine Kirk]

I often wonder if the lads who are lost to tombstoning are victims of 'keep children safe' culture, a few tumbles out of trees and hits on the bottom of swimming pools are no bad thing IMHO experience is vastly underrated as a teaching tool.
Nowadays life itself is homogenised and delivered to children in verbal or written form.
I can access any recipe I choose through the internet, I can have the ingredients delivered to my door , it doesn't mean I can produce the end product.

[llondel]

It was noticeable when my son was younger and we used to let him walk along walls and jump off things, that many other parents would actively stop their children doing the same thing. The fact that he was attending a basic gymnastics class (at an Olympic Gym) where such things were taught (think balance beam, for one) and encouraged probably helped, and he was much more confident doing these 'dangerous' activities than many of the other children hastily hauled off by their parents.

I think it is part of parenting to be able to assess a risk against potential benefits, see that there is some danger of getting hurt but probably no more than a bump and a scrape, warn the child of that risk and let consequences follow. No fall, child has demonstrated adequate skill to perform the task, a fall and you've provided a hard reminder that warnings are given for a reason.

The ground is hard. Small children learn quite quickly that falling over on it is not good and it gives them incentive to take care and learn balance really quickly. If the ground was soft they probably wouldn't learn nearly so fast.

[s836apg]

Was talking about this a few weeks back with my 92 year old Aunt. She said she "Didn't like children climbing trees as a boy she knew had fallen out of a tree and has been wheel chair bound since." This is the one in 100,000 probability that the "Cover My Ass" bureaucrats are trying to allow for.

1) Sod them. Sh*t happens.
2) They don't understand utilitarianism Part 1: it IS worth it that one child is paralysed in order that 99,999 don't live neutered lives.
3) They don't understand utilitarianism Part 2: the 99,999 are healthier and better citizens for having been exposed to risk.
R

[woodworker]

My son is only five, but I let him help me cut kindling with a small hatchet. He feels very grown up and treats it seriously and knows that 'its a tool not a toy'. A year ago i started by getting the axe stuck in the wood, passing it to him and he would use the axe to split it, now he has progressed to splitting a bit of wood i have stood up for him.

He has learnt hand eye co-ordination, strength, controll and focus. He is delighted that he is able to do it and never messes around or shows off whilst using the axe. Other parent have looked at me like im nuts, but i think that you have to trust your kids. As adults we all do far more dangerous things every day (driving for instance) and the better you are at judging risks the safer you can be.

If we remove all danger from our kids lives then how can they learn to assess their own risks.

I do think though that it is important to be there and involved when they are doing risky things( at this young age anyway). I want to be there so that when he gets the harsh lessons I can pick him up and make things better without condeming him. I dont think that this reduces the power of the lesson, just shows acceptance that some risk is alright.

This approach also means that when I do say that something is too dangerous, he is more likely to listen and understand.

So yes let kids play with danger and help them to judge risks themselves

[marl2580]

I completely agree with the theory behind this, BUT I am having a lot of difficulty putting it into practice. I can't stop myself telling Kaya to sit down on the top bunk and I freak when my OH holds her and lets her look over the edge of the car park. I can't help it. Does this book tell you how to stop being like this?

[Elaine Kirk]

I completely agree with the theory behind this, BUT I am having a lot of difficulty putting it into practice. I can't stop myself telling Kaya to sit down on the top bunk and I freak when my OH holds her and lets her look over the edge of the car park. I can't help it. Does this book tell you how to stop being like this?

Sounds like the perfect balance to me Marl.

[s836apg]

Didn't realise until just now that this is the same guy who did this TED lecture a few years back. The book was a work in progress then.

http://www.ted.com/talks/gever_tulle..._for_kids.html

R

[s836apg]

Found this

http://www.ted.com/talks/ken_robinso...reativity.html

on the same page.

R