Toilet training

[Rooney]

Our eldest son is four in May and we have tried everything that we can think of to toilet train him. He knows the theory but can't seem to put it into practice.He is freaking out when we put him on the toilet and seems afraid of falling down.
We have listened to all kinds of advice and others boasting that their children have been trained from two months!!!
I would appreciate any thoughts or comments from anyone out there who has had a similar problem.
Do we leave it until he is ready? or should we get some help?
Is there a set age that children should be trained at or do we expect too much from our children?
He is a very bright boy in all other areas.

[Pedagog]

My son was like this, he got the hang of it eventually.

Have you tried different child toilet seats, steps etc.

[ann_pan_lanark]

Is he using a potty? is it just the toilet he dislikes?

I would seriously consider just resorting to a potty until he gets the hang of it. I know that is more difficult when you are out, but I guess there are always trees.

There is no real rush, and the summer might be just the time to do it as accidents might be easier to cope with.

From what I have heard, there is no set age and I was told by a health visitor not to do it to early because they learn the routine and not the trigger sensations. This can cause problems later on.

We followed a book to do it in a week and it worked for us. (It is a Gina Ford book, I can lend you it if you think it will help)

[Laine21S]

My youngest hated the toilet seat and always thought she would fall down and get stuck.
We had a toddler seat that fitted over the existing one, and it took a little while for het to feel safe on it, but it worked.
r
Nowadays you can get the family seat, which has a normal seat for adults and a toddler seat all built in,

http://www.splashdirect.com/Bathroom...541/p2655.aspx

[Diane]

You might check to see if he's having pain on voiding. That can scare children (or anyone for example). My eldest didn't accept the toilet routine until she was four and a friend (motherly adult) encouraged her to 'go'. I think my distress over the whole thing was putting her off, frankly.

Diane
http://www.threedegreesoffreedom.blogspot.com

[Polly]

Is he telling you in advance that he needs to go? or asking to go to the toilet? - Without prompting?

If not, he may not be physically ready yet - without the necessary sensations and being able to tell in advance, and control it, it's not going to happen He may well be able to understand it 'intellectually' and want to co-operate but unless the nerves are giving out the right signals for him to recognise, he won't be able to hold on etc.

Regarding the toilet, perhaps letting him use a potty that he has control of would help build confidence?

Don't let other's boasting worry you - we've all been there For me it was the people boasting their baby slept thru the nights from birth - not really helpful when you have a baby who never sleeps no matter what

[sapna]

Hi Margaret,

as you know, I'm no expert on toilet training but Rosetta is finding the warmer weather and thus peeing in bushes/next to trees/in the drains etc is making accidents less frequent and peeing more fun. It could be even more fun for a boy! He will get the hang of it, given time.

Sapna x

[france]

Hi Margaret,
Using the toilet can be very scary, appears often to be an irrational fear to something new or he might disappear with the flush. Some children feel very unsafe sitting on the toilet. What about getting him to stand up and pee into a bucket. You can buy coloured balls to put in the bucket and he tries to aim for them with his pee. Good motivating game for some. The al fresco iexperience from sapna works well with Logan, too well! On the other hand, if he has not acquired the vocabulary for expressing he needs to pee or the sensation then I personally would leave it for now. It's not that uncommon for children not to be toilet trained at 4yrs

Caroline x

[llondel]

It's not clear to me whether the issue is a transition from potty to toilet where he's aware of the need to go, or from nappy to toilet where he needs to become aware of the need.

We achieved good results by mysteriously running out of nappies so our son spent his waking hours without a nappy on. Even more mysteriously, we'd manage to find a nappy by bedtime so he could wear one overnight. We had very few incidents and after a couple of weeks he was just fine. Once he'd gotten used to not having a nappy on, I think it was a big incentive to him to manage without one.

When it came to the transition between potty and toilet, we had one of those baby seat things that meant that the hole he had to sit on was much smaller.

He was three at the time.

[s836apg]

Summer and lack of nappies in the garden helped us.

I am told that Swedish kids potty train very early because the absence of carpets means that potties can just be stuck in the corners of the rooms and kids can go nappy free.

R